Honoring the Past: How Tributes Shape and Inspire Our FutureNear the end of my grandparents’ lives, they organized a family reunion at a local park. Once everyone had arrived, Grandpa gathered us under a covered pavilion for an announcement. He held up a thick rectangular book with a leather cover stamped in gold words, Book of Remembrance. It was filled with stories, pictures, and the lineage of my grandmother’s ancestors. Grandpa said he had recently discovered this treasure in an old box in the basement and that he and Grandma wanted everyone to have a chance to explore the incredible wealth of history inside. He’d created a sign-up sheet to pass the book from house to house.
But just then, one of my grandmother’s sisters stood up. She was furious. She claimed that the book belonged to her, that it had been missing for years, and that she wanted it back—now.
Stunned, my grandparents handed her the history and sat down. I crumbled inside, knowing that I would never see that book again, that all those stories and pictures would be lost to me and my family forever.
It’s an all-too-common tragedy. Before this miraculous digital age, precious family memorabilia was often entrusted to a single person and consequently passed through that family line. The rest of posterity had to go to great lengths to get copies or details—if anyone even remembered where they were.
Too often, those items become forgotten in basements or attics, susceptible to water, fire, rodent damage, and the destructive ravages of time.
We all desire to know where we came from and who passed certain traits or talents to us down the inheritance line. For some who lose loved ones when they’re young, our adult hearts ache for any sliver of detail about their lives. When we have access to family pictures, documents, and stories, these clues to our heritage are an irreplaceable gift.
This is the foundational explanation for the fast-rising popularity of digital memorials.
When Jordan Maxwell was ten years old, his father died. Jordan is the oldest of four children, and the loss of their father was devastating to them all. For Jordan and his next oldest sister, the grief came as they relived their too-few memories of their father, mourning that their relationship had been cut short. For the youngest two children, the pain came in not being old enough when he died to have any memory of their father at all.
Jordan’s mother remarried when he was fourteen, and blending two families with nine children between them was challenging. Jordan often found reasons to not be at home, staying with friends or wandering around town.
Years later, in his late twenties, he was poking around in his mother’s basement and discovered something that piqued his interest. It was an old scrapbook that someone in the neighborhood had gone to great lengths to compile for his father’s funeral. The book contained over 300 handwritten letters and stories, many accompanied by photographs that Jordan had never seen. Tributes from co-workers, friends, neighbors, and family members. He read them all. Every word.
This stashed-away treasure gave Jordan an entirely new view of his father. He’d only known him as a ten-year-old boy, but reading the memories—the perspectives of other adults—revealed new details about his personality, accomplishments, and what people would miss most about him. Jordan saw his father through new eyes.
These pictures and tributes would have been lost to Jordan and his family if someone hadn’t taken the time to gather them. Jordan wanted to preserve this revelation of details and memory for himself, his siblings, and future posterity. And suddenly, a passion for family history took root.
A few years later, Jordan was training for a marathon, and his daily running route took him past his local cemetery. As he ran, he had plenty of time to think. He remembered those days as a troubled teenager wandering around town and wondered how many kids like him were in the world right now. The cemetery seemed like a quiet place to go. Did those wandering youth ever happen to walk through these headstones? And if they did, what if there was a way for them to be greeted by more than a meaningless name and dates? What if there was a way to learn about the people buried there and be inspired by their lives and stories? Would those stories have the power to inspire and reassure those kids the way the stories, pictures, and tributes about his father had helped him?
Jordan believed they could. And he felt a tug that he couldn’t shake. For weeks, he couldn’t concentrate at work because the pull to this idea was so powerful.
And that’s how Our Tributes was born.
Our Tributes is on a mission to make it simple to collect and preserve the memory of loved ones for generations through a scannable QR Code Memorial plaque that can be affixed to a headstone. The online account stores photos, videos, and stories and allows visitors to the page to leave personal messages and tributes.
Digital memorials like these QR codes for headstones solve many of the challenging issues of traditional memorials and paper records:
Accessibility: Digital memorials can be accessed from anywhere with an internet connection, allowing friends and family members who cannot visit a physical memorial due to distance or other constraints to pay their respects and contribute to the memory of the deceased.
Permanence: Unlike physical and paper memorials, which may degrade over time due to weathering, vandalism, water or fire damage, misplacement, and more, digital memorials can be preserved indefinitely, ensuring that the deceased's memory is maintained for future generations.
Customization: Digital memorials aren’t set in stone. They can be customized in various ways, allowing loved ones to add photos, videos, messages, and other personal touches to honor the deceased in a unique and meaningful manner.
Cost-effectiveness: Digital memorials are usually less expensive than physical monuments or printed memorials. The cost of creating a digital memorial can vary depending on the company and product, but Our Tributes, in particular, strives to keep prices low in order to make this service accessible to a wider range of individuals regardless of financial means.
Ease of Maintenance: Digital memorials are relatively easier to maintain than physical memorials. They do not require regular upkeep or repairs and can be updated or modified as needed with minimal effort from anywhere around the world.
Overall, digital memorials offer a modern and flexible alternative to traditional memorials, providing a space for remembrance, reflection, and connection in the digital age. One that won’t deteriorate or be misplaced over time.
If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one, there is power in the exercise of reminiscing. In her article, The Healing Power of Reminiscing, Mia Brabham Nolan explains her findings, that
“Images, sounds, smells, and memories from earlier chapters in our lives — particularly positive or meaningful ones from our youth — can provoke potent feelings that unlock underlying functional benefits, including positive self-esteem and self-understanding, social connectedness, optimism for the future, increased empathy, and psychological growth. These recollections can create good feelings and inspire us even on our darkest days. Nostalgia is more than just fun; it’s a personal, powerful, and meaningful tool.”
But just because it’s beneficial to us doesn’t always mean it’s easy. Recalling memories can often bring up deep, tender emotions. And often, people feel intimidated by the idea of recording a tribute, especially if they didn’t feel particularly close to the deceased or their family. But every story, every memory carries a piece of that person that helps to create a complete view of who they were. So don’t be afraid to ask. It’s never too late to request and compile memories, stories, and tributes from friends and family.
To make your request a bit less daunting, begin by explaining why gathering memories is important to you. Then include a few questions or prompts to help get the memories flowing.
Encouraging friends and family to share memories using these prompts can help keep the deceased's memory alive and provide comfort and connection during times of grief.
There is a Chinese Proverb that says,
“One generation plants a tree; another gets the shade.”
It takes work to record and preserve the details of someone’s life. But the work we do now to remember our loved ones has the power to provide future generations with courage, connection, and love. Inspiration from the past, encouragement to do better, be better. Kinder. Braver. More hopeful. And happy. Gifting our posterity the chance to sit in the soothing shade of memory and reflect, turning hearts to the things that matter most.
Each tribute is a gift. We wish you many moments of connection and reflection as you work to remember.
Guest Author: Krista Isaacson
Featuring the latest in Our Tributes updates, funeral technology news, and compassionate perspectives on grieving and mourning.
